Expert Answers To Your Sweet 16 Questions

    These days, it's not unusual to hear a news report detailing the financial struggles  that  many  families  are  having  to  endure.    If  you  find  yourself facing some kind of financial hardship just as your child's Sweet 16 date is approaching, try to avoid eliminating her party in the interest of saving some money.

    I've stated it earlier, but it bears repeating.  A Sweet 16 marks a girl's transition  into  womanhood,  and  even  though most  Sweet  16  girls  are  ill equipped  to step  into  the world alone at  this point, still  it's vitally  important that they begin to learn about how to manage money and how to come up with creative solutions.  If a family has been assailed by a financial problem, do not allow  that problem  to  take down your spirit and put an end  to your party.  Just demonstrate for your daughter that you can work around it.

    Our family had thrown a big party for our daughter when she became a Bat Mitzvah at age 13.  We'd invited all of her friends, all of our son's friends, all of our friends and neighbors, and all the relatives from both sides of the family.   We had a guest  list of over 100 people  for a sit down dinner with entertainment, a DJ, a photographer, a gorgeous dress and shoes and hair styling, and the whole nine yards.

    So for us, it didn't seem appropriate to do the whole thing all over again only 3 years  later when our daughter  turned 16.   Our daughter seemed  to accept this without any fuss and went about her life assuming that there'd be no enormous party to mark her 16th Birthday.

    But as the day drew near, I had second thoughts, and I wanted to do something special for her.  Because she didn't know this, I decided to enlist her friends and make the whole thing a surprise for her.  On a budget of less than $200, I was able to put together a party for her and 12 of her friends. When the party was over and her guests were leaving, more than one told me that it was one of the best Sweet 16s they'd ever attended.  I know that my daughter was over the moon about her party.

    On the cheap:

   Invitations: Because you are keeping  the guest  list very short, you may be able to invite your guests over the phone or via e-mail.  Be clear with them that you need them to reply, and give them a deadline, the same way that you would if you were sending a formal invitation.  You're going to want to have a final head count.  If you have to place strict limits on the number of guests, be sure that the teenagers understand that they can't bring along anyone else unless you've decided otherwise.

    If you still want to use a paper Invitation, consider purchasing the type that you fill in by hand. These are sold at most stationery stores, pharmacies, and gift shops, usually for about ten dollars for a pack of ten.

    Another option can involve turning to your computer.  Most kids have some degree of fluency  in some kind of graphic design software, or even Microsoft word.  Have the Sweet 16 girl put together her own flyer.  Just be
sure to proof read it before she prints them, to make sure that the spelling and grammar is correct, and that she's included all the pertinent information.  (Occasion, guest of honor's name, day, date,  time,  location with address, dress code [if any], host's name(s) [optional] and RSVP information.)  Many office supply box stores sell small quantities of high quality yet affordable decorative papers  that can be used on your home printer.   Make sure  that you clean your printer heads and run a test print on plain bond paper before you do the entire run on the stationery papers.

    Decor: A little bit of imagination will take you a very long way.  Balloons, streamers,  crepe  paper,  ribbons,  construction  paper,  glitter  and  glue,  are cheap and they can transform the dullest room into something colorful and festive.   Visit any popular craft or decor web site and you'll find dozens of ideas for fun and easy crafts to create the party decor.  Enlist your daughter and her friends to create the atmosphere for the party.  It will get their creative juices flowing and  they'll  feel  incredibly proud when  they view  the finished result before the guests arrive and as the party is going on.

    Food:   If  you're working with  an  air  tight  budget,  you might want  to make the party a little later in the evening (starting at 8:00 p.m. or 9:00 p.m. for example) and make  it clear  to guests  that  there will not be a sit down meal.  For instance, on the invitations you can specify that you'll be serving hors d'oeuvres or appetizers, soft drinks and cake (rather than coming out and saying that there won't be a formal sit down dinner).  Alternately, you can put together a buffet.  You can create a beautiful effect with a disposable table cloth  from  the 99 cent store, a  few  little decorations  to keep with  the party theme, and a bit of crackers and dip, pizza, sandwiches (quartered, so that guests can help themselves to as much as they want, but won't be tempted to take something huge and then leave over 3/4 of it for the trash) crudite, small spinach pies, wraps and cold cuts, etc.  Most teens are very easy to please when it comes to food, and aren't in search of 5 star restaurant fare.

    Use paper cups, plates and napkins to reduce your clean up.  Dessert can be as simple as some sliced fruit (again, you can get very festive with the presentation of something as cheap and simple as a watermelon) ice cream, or a home baked cake.  Remember that you don't have to go crazy, and that your guests will be thrilled to see a cake in the first place.  It doesn't have to be five tiers high and created by a master baker.

    Activities and Games:

    Go on line and run searches on the keywords "party games" and you will come up with dozens of results.  Tailor your keywords and choices to the Sweet 16 Girl's preferences.

    Music:

    An  I-pod and a docking station should do  the  trick.   So will a music station on the radio.

    Memory  Reel: Once  again,  I'd  suggest  that  you  enlist  your  home computer.    If you'd  like  to present a collection of photos of your daughter from  infancy  through  teenage,  you  don't  have  to  break  the  bank.    If  you have Microsoft Power Point  or Windows Movie Maker,  or  a  host  of  other computer software with a similar function, then you can put together your own presentation.    If you have a scanner or have access  to one, you can scan the girl's baby pictures and class photos.  If you have digital video, it can be edited into the presentation too.  For my daughter's Sweet 16, her best friend put together a 10 minute long presentation, with titles and graphics.  The girl taught herself the software as she went along, and when she was finished she burned it on to a DVD that we've been able to treasure ever since.

    Dedications: If you are having a surprise party for your daughter, she won't have a chance  to prepare dedications.    In  this situation,  I asked my guests  to write down a short paragraph about a memory  that  they had of a good  time with  the guest of honor.    I  can't even begin  to describe how effective this was, and what a beautiful moment it made in the party, when each  guest  stood  and  shared  a  story  about  a memorable  event with my daughter, or expressed  their  love  for her.    It went so  far beyond what any material gift could mean to her.  Not only was my daughter overwhelmed by the outpouring of kind words, but her guests were equally as moved.  It gave everyone  involved  the opportunity  to  really understand how valuable  their friendships are, and that was something that all the money in the world could never buy.

    Favors: As  I mentioned  in  the  previous  chapter,  the  lion's  share  of party favors are forgotten by the day following the party.  I would not invest a lot of money in favors.  You can fill a tiny gift bag with candies, offer them with your good-byes at the end of the night, and most of your guests will be thrilled

    If you have a digital camera and a printer in your home, you can take group photos of your daughter with her guests during  the party.   You can purchase picture frames for as little as $1 per piece.  Then, while your guests are  busy with  an  activity,  or while  they're  eating,  you  can  download  your photos, print out the best ones, crop them and slip them into photo frames. Give these as favors and your bound to get a great response.  Your average Sweet 16 guest is going to be more focused on the subject of the photo than whether it was taken by a highly trained art school graduate or a parent with a point and shoot camera.   Chances are  that  this  type of  favor will not be discarded.

    If  this  seems  like  too much work,  you  can  just  purchase  the  photo frames (nothing bigger than a 5" x 7" frame).  Before the party, you can make a  little graphic on a piece of decorative paper, even  if  it  just  says Mary's Sweet 16, and slip it into the frame.  Then your guest can take it home and use it for her own photo.

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Next Chapter 6: Alternatives to the Big Party